I just don’t feel adequate anymore. I feel pretty…But not pretty ENOUGH. Not pretty enough to compete with all of the other girls out there. They’re all better than me…Prettier than me…Smarter than me…Funnier than me. It sucks. It would be better if I was different…That’s what I keep telling myself. If I had a tan, if my teeth were whiter, if my skin was more clear, if my lips were more full, if my hair wasn’t so frizzy all the time.
It sucks. And now I feel bad for making fun of those girls. Clearly they’re doing it for a reason. They think they’ll be prettier with all of these things done and maybe they feel prettier. But, even if it does, they’ll always have it in their heads that I’m pretty NOW, but I wasn’t THEN. They’ll think that they’re only pretty now that their skin has a brown glow and their teeth are pearly white and they have the best clothing. They’ll think that whoever they were before was a completely different person who just didn’t make the cut. They might have been a good person, but that person didn’t get them what they wanted out of life.
Weird mood.
